And I find...

When I'm at my worst: 

I feel alone, forgotten, unappreciated and used,

comparing myself to others, and feeling lost

or like I'm not going anywhere.

I think about life,  and ask myself
"what am I going to do if things don't go according to plan?"

"what if I don't reach my goals?"

"What's the point of all of it?"

Almost suicidal.

And at my best:

There's no question I'm going to reach my goals.

I have so many ideas that i don't know where to start.

my drive and ambition shows that my future holds success.

I am planning things, creating things,

acting on my ideas, Loving life,

motivating and uplifting, being proud of who I am 

and everything I stand for.

I've come to accept that I can't control when I'm up and when I'm down

but such extreme states of mind should not be an issue in one person's life

not like this.

So why has it been so long that I've been dealing with this

and why is it going unrecognised as a problem?
I just hope that there will come a time when i can silence the downs

and continue going up

because the past few days I've been in a dark place

and it feels pretty damn awful.
I just want to be happy.

=[
▲iMar