Collection of thoughts.

“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” – Joseph Campbell

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” – Epicurus

Dear Mr. Fox

Writing with my heart is hard, when it’s so disjointed.. All I know is that I love you. I want to spend my life with you. Mr. Fox, if you read this, please don’t cry… You’ve kept me sane, you’ve kept me productive, and you’ve kept me close. I appreciate that – more than anything in the world. I know dreams are made-up, and hopes are fickle, but that doesn’t stop them from being about you. I hope to warm you with my embrace, and I dream of living together, happy, content, and with a pillow heated by your unmatched love. I want to do it all with you. Everything. I’m bad at math, but I’m hopeful in assuming me+you=love. I want nothing more than your perfection. I need your grace. Your warm embrace.

Attempted love. I don’t want to let you go. I don’t even know if I can. I would never purposely hurt anyone, but I feel like every time I take a step closer to my dreams, someone in my wake gets hurt. I see you and I think, “I need to stop.” But how can I possibly stop? I can’t just pretend I never want to see you again. I want to see your smile everyday, hear your voice, look into your eyes, and hold your hand. I want to be by your side. I want to see mirrored perspectives. I don’t want to make you sad, or loathing. I just want your love. But I know its not about me. It’s about you. I want to know your true feelings… Do I stand a chance of gaining your love? Can you bare to me the raw, unreflected emotion I have?

Can we ever be together?

With Endless Love,

Ms. Fox

A sad day in happy town.

How I feel right now
is pretty much the equivalent to how I felt
being the last person picked for dodge Ball.

I graduate from hair school Next week.

Pretty pumped about that.
However;

another subject has me quite distraught.
Coheed is coming to Halifax this summer with Metallica
which is awesome

BUT,
Tickets are sold out
and I have no one to go with.
I'm pretty disapointed that Drew and Victoria got VIP tickets
and never thought to involve me.
Which means;
Even if i did get my hands on a regular ticket,
I wouldn't be in the same area as them.

When I heard about them coming here

i didn't even wait to put my contacts in

i messaged Drew.
I didn't heard from him till yesterday
after all was said and done.
I don't want to be like Blah blah blah

but i just feel really crappy
that my best friend didn't even think of me
and now I'm not going.

Conor may be at sea
so he's not going to get a ticket regardless.
I hate that everything comes back to me being under appreciated

by people who I would give the shirt off my back for.
the problem with being a giving person,

is that when you don't get the same in return you get bitter

because you have unrealistic expectations from people

and it feels like a slap in the face every time.

Drew, if you ever see this post
I hope you don't get mad and hate me for it

this is just how I feel.
No it was not your responsibility to get me VIP tickets
To be honest I probably can't afford it anyway

but just to mention it would have made me feel thought of.
Maybe I expect too much
but I'd have done it for you.

No I'm not mad,
and I'm not going to resent you for it.
I'm hurt.
:(

▲iMar